Why Don’t Parents Get Us?

Written by my 14 year old daughter

Okay, so here’s the thing: being a teenager today is hard. Like, really hard. And I don’t think most parents even realize it. They mean well—like, I know my parents love me—but sometimes it feels like they’re stuck in some time warp where they think life now is the same as when they were kids. Spoiler alert: it’s NOT.

What They Don’t See

We live in a world where everything we do is being judged. Social media is amazing, sure, but it’s also a trap. You have to look perfect, act perfect, post perfect. And if you don’t? It’s like you don’t exist. My mom once told me, “Just be yourself, honey.” And I’m like, “Cool advice, but if I don’t fit in, no one’s going to give me a chance to be myself.”

Parents don’t really get how scary it is to feel like you could be left out for the smallest thing. Wrong shoes? Out. Don’t play the right game? Out. Say something “cringe”? Definitely out.

And then there’s school. Pressure to get good grades, pressure to be sporty, pressure to be creative, pressure to plan a whole future when half the time I can’t even decide what to eat for breakfast.

It’s Not Their Fault (Mostly)

Here’s the thing—I don’t actually think parents want to make it harder for us. They just don’t understand how different things are now. Like, when my mom was a kid, people called each other on landlines and hung out at the mall. Now everything is online. If you’re not constantly snapping or DMing, people think you’re ignoring them. And don’t even get me started on comparing yourself to influencers who seem to have perfect lives.

But even when they don’t get it, I do wish parents would try a little harder to listen. Not just to tell us we’re overreacting or that “it’ll be fine,” but to really hear us. Sometimes, I don’t need advice. I just need someone to say, “That sounds rough. I’m here for you.”

What I Wish

I wish life didn’t feel like such a competition. I wish it wasn’t so easy to feel like you’re failing at everything. And I wish parents could see that we’re trying, even if it doesn’t look like it.

But you know what else? I get that it’s probably hard for parents too. They grew up in a totally different world, and I bet they’re just as confused about how to handle us as we are about dealing with them.

Maybe the best thing we can do is meet in the middle. Like, I’ll try to explain how I’m feeling if you promise not to roll your eyes or lecture me. Deal?

T.H.W - 2024